The Art of Appreciation

Recently, Rads, of the Rads Blog-a-Zine fame, gave me a blogger friendship award!!And frankly all I can say is, thanks a bunch!!....muchas gracias señora!!!...Truly much obliged.
All I can say, is that discovering blogging has been one of the most self gratifying things for me, and frankly I never knew that I could have the potential to write consistently for so long!
Frankly it has taken me by surprise.
On another note....I just realised how wonderful life can seem, and how well you can get your confidence boosted when people begin to appreciate you for the things you do best.
Blogging seems to be an excellent platform, where you can speak your mind out, without any insecurities attached.
The thing is...frankly none of my friends here and back in India (save a few)....care much about blogs and blogging. So for me initially when I started I felt singled out in the crowd being the misfit that I am.
But as the comments and followers started increasing...I felt such a great morale boost, because finally being acknowledge by someone is a great feeling.
Its not very often that people are fortunate enough to belong to a crowd that appreciates you for who you are and what you do. But nevertheless, blogging has done just that!!!
Hence as a solemn moment of gratitude to my fellow blogging buddies, who have helped shape my blog and egged me on to keep writing, I would thus like to thank,
Rads: For presenting me with this award!!...makes one feel all the more worthwhile.
Viyoma: For introducing me to blogging
Biju: For being one of the first ones to comment and follow my blog.
Shadowthrone: For being such a dedicated follower, and always being there for no matter what I Post.
Choco: For her dedicated comments and her personalised style of writing.
Kadambari: For being a thoughtful writer, who is almost as introsepective as I am at times.
Kaddu: For appreciating my blog right away, and being supportive of whatever I write.
Ramya: For speaking her mind, when it comes to whatever I write.
Sandhya: For being such an ardent follower, so as to actually read though all the posts I wrote when I first started the blog. Totally appreciate the encouragement. Just what the doctor ordered.
Sammy: For appreciating my writing, and being such a dedicated blogger himself.
AS & Todayswriter: Fellow bloggers and good friends who live one floor above mine.
Brocasarea: Being a fellow medical blogger, keeping me in touch with the internship scene in India.

And a special word of thanks to Varun, SSQuo, et and Aquarius, who have recently come across my blog, and commented on my posts.

Its always a pleasure to write for a dedicated audience!!.
As they say in Russian, Spasiba Vam Bolshoi! (roughly translated as..Thanks a lot!!!)

PS: My next post is going to be a tag. I have been tagged by Brocasarea and Todayswriter(long back), so bear with me while I manage to sum up things about yours truly!!

Who Cares?

During the break in our infectious diseases lesson, me an my fellow group mates were discussing the current scenario in India. One of them said that there's no way he's going back, for he would rather settle back in some other country. A couple of my friends agreed and said India was beyond any hope. Now this got me into a defensive and a morally aggressive state, where though being a fierce critic of all that seems to be going haywire in our country, a little birdie called hope keeps floating into my conscience assuring me that all is not lost.
They argued that a mere 30% of the populace is well educated, while a significant remainder remain ignorant, poor and uneducated. So in return I asked, why cant the remainder 30% make a difference?
In return, they asked, really? Would you? Well subsequently, in due time you wont, because nobody cares, and nobody wants to care.
They further argued, saying that for instance, an average medical student spends close to 20 lakh rupees in his education. Mainly due to the monopoly of seats by the private medical collages and the current infamous reservation system.
And after spending literally a fortune on your education, will you really contribute your time and energy afterwards in social service and generous charitable acts for the poor and needy?
It seems it wont be practical nor fair to my own self.
And that seriously got me thinking.
What if that's true?
Certainly a fortune has been spent for our medical degrees. And it would indeed be seemingly irrational if we spent the remainder of our post graduate lives being generous and spend our time and energy to socially uplift the needy. It would end up has economic Hara Kiri.
So then where lies the answer?
Or perhaps there no answer at all?
I have always been irked by the western impression of India as a poor, downtrodden decrepit state. What irks me even more is when Indians don't try to correct that impression by any ways and means.
But with all the problems facing an average Indian, would it really be fair to ask them to forsake their lives so that their country can proser?
Would it be fair to ask, lets say an average middle class Indian to give up his lively hood and set him the task to reform the country.
Frankly I can agree that it is indeed too much to ask out of anyone, because they already have too much on their plate as it is.
Its very easy to say, lets reform the place, lets make a difference, lets set things right. They are encouraging and fill you with hope.
But the thing is, nobody comes ahead to make the first step.
Nobody wants to get their hands dirty.
Not my friends, and frankly, I don't know about myself either. Right now I'm full of enthusiasm. But who knows, maybe life might change me into a career driven guy with a 9-5 job, who has got his hands full.
Even if one wishes to begin the process of reformation, setting things right in India is a mammoth task.
The first question will be where do you begin?
What will you tackle?
Can one tackle the poverty, the illiteracy, the corruption, the ignorance, the religious fanaticism, the pollution, growing population, the snail paced judiciary, growing crime, healthcare deficit, lack of infrastructure, excessive commercialism, terrorism, casteism, or the gender inequality?
Seriously, one doesn't even know where to begin.
Just imagining the numerous hurdles makes ones head spin.
And its at this very point any average human is going to think.."are you kidding me? There's no way I'm going to fall in this mess. Such things are better left with the NGOs and the politicians".
Its true. Indians or not, we are human beings. And to quote Somerset Maugham, "human nature is weak, and one must not ask too much of it."
It has precious little to do with patriotism.
Sometimes I really don't envy the job the Indian Prime Minister has.
Just think of all the things he needs to tackle.
And the numerous hurdles that the so called head of state must encounter while actually trying to make an honest effort into doing something worthwhile.
While all our problems can be blamed on the politicians, frankly there isn't a soul who would take the reigns away from them and decide to make a difference.
So, going back to it all, nobody cares that the country is going down the mire in spite of the brilliant façade of the "booming economy, the 1 Lakh rupee car, launching satellites to the moon and the mushrooming of numerous supermarkets and multiplexes".

The booming economy doesn't explain the huge number of slum dwellers and beggars in every nook and corner of the street.
The Government has enough money to spend on launching lunar vehicles but has no resources to supply small towns and villages with electricity and decent roads.
And the supermarkets have only added to the woe of many small time retailers and green grocers who have lost their jobs to big commercial giants.
And you have the 1 lakh rupee car where you may drive it on already congested and narrow roads, so that the future generations may suffer from chronic carbon monoxide poisoning from being constantly exposed to the noxious fumes from the clogged roads.

Like I said, who cares? Why fall into all this mess in the first place when you can secure your job and future in another country?
I am not admonishing Indians for leaving India, or for not doing anything.
If you asked me what is to be done, I'd say I have no idea as well.
But at the same time every time I look at the picture before us it irks me to no end, thinking, is there really no hope, as my friends say?
News agencies report that there has been an increased voter turn out in India for the past few general elections.
So I presume that the only explanation for this must be that the Indian populace is really desperate for change.
Desperately hoping that someone comes along and makes a difference.
You can only imagine their ire when those they voted for do not deliver.
Its things like these that sometimes bring a nation to the precipice of a revolution.
When people are fed up to their teeth with the overall system and demand answers and seek change.
Like the Chinese cultural revolution, the Russian revolution of 1917 or the French revolution of the 18th century.
I don't know whether there can be a revolutionary storm in India. But if the people are pressed on this way, it might very well seem imminent.
Perhaps not now, but somewhere in the distant future.
Since for now no one cares, in the near future you might end up forced to care when rebels march to the steps of the parliament in order to overthrow a corrupt and incompetent government, plunging the nation into chaos and anarchy.
But till that time, all the majority can do is wait and watch.
Presuming that there is after all some hope yet.
And hoping that someone actually may care.


Image credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/guptasameer, http://www.flickr.com/photos/beija-flor, http://www.flickr.com/photos/vanessao, http://www.flickr.com/photos/mworrell

Divine Therapy

There comes a period in our lives, where things don't seem very hunky dory, when in spite of the sunny weather outside, within us there exists a dark cloudy overcast. Times where you sit solemnly staring into the emptiness, seemingly calm on the outside, but withholding a tempest of thoughts on the inside. Not knowing what to do, where to go or whom to turn to. Just looking into the bleak horizon, wishing for someone to help you. But not knowing whom to trust with your troubles.
Usually like any passing storm, the mental overcast does fade away, but at other times, they just choose to linger on, hovering over you, thwarting your every step and your every move, till finally you break down, and let open the gates which contained your deepest fears, your deepest worries and your deepest insecurities.
Hopefully those that are around you might then notice your predicament and begin to help you in whatever way they seem to think fit.
One of the things that people of late, seem to be running out of, is time.
Time for themselves and their loved ones.
As the world nations seem to move faster and faster towards advancement, humanity finds itself within a rat race, as time is money, and there is hence, not a second to loose.
And as a consequence, we seem unable to realise the obvious signs of mental degradation and fatigue. Where the mind is constantly eroded in a never ending charade of work.
School children are overworked to fulfil their academic obligations, parents are overworked to make ends meet, and the teens run helter skelter to find the right jobs.
Amidst all the chaos, you end up physically and emotionally exhausted, and unable to divulge your problems to a third person because that third person is either busy or has problems of his/her own.
In all the chaos, I wonder what's the point?
By the end of the day you might have made ends meet or secured massive profits for your company. But what's point of it all, when you lose your mental peace as a consequence?
I do not suppose circumstances are in our control.
You cannot stop the world from realising its ambitions and in return making humans run to and fro.
I suppose by now people are familiar with the news reports of school shoot outs in the United States. Not to mention the high suicide rates in Japan.
Both nations are known to be technologically advanced with good standards of living, in comparison to the third world countries.
In spite of all the cheap and affordable gadgets and the increased comfort of living, you have people deteriorating mentally en masse.
The thing is, of late no one has the time nor energy to listen to someone else's problems, since they are too busy climbing the echelon towards success.
This however has ended up as a blessing is disguise to psychotherapists or "shrinks" as one would call them.
And their job, is very simple, its just to lend an ear. While one pours his/her heart out sobbing away.
For a moderate fee of course.
Its ironic actually, because back in the day one would divulge their deepest and darkest to family and close friends. But of late due to the lack of understanding and the sheer lack of time, it becomes impossible for a mentally aggrieved person to receive prompt attention.
Not everyone can run to a shrink. And even those who do, it doesn't always grant them immediate solace or a universal answer to all their problems. Irrespective of how well qualified the psychiatrist is in Freudian principles.
As a consequence therefore, since it can be taken for granted that in today's work ridden atmosphere, you might as well end up emotionally alone without an anchor to hold on to, I suppose the best alternative is to turn to yourself for help.
I doubt there is anyone who can understand oneself better that the very individual.
People usually question the role of faith in human lives.
The need to believe in a higher power, or the need to blindly follow unseen and unheard of forces.
Science may ridicule such behaviour, but frankly when was the last time a human being was scientifically saved from self destruction?
The best any psychiatrist can do to a hysterical and paranoid human being on the verge of losing his/her sanity will be to prescribe sedatives and anti depressants.
And we all know that the demons that haunt your senses day in and day out will return once you are out of the "magic pills".
There usually isn't a permanent solution.
The thing about faith, is that you have the ability to look forward to something no matter how tough things can get.
All in all it encourages positive thinking and allows you to cultivate hope.
You may even call acquiring faith as a means of positive therapy.
Its actually not much different from the self help books that are being sold by the dozen.
People mistake faith as a form of an unreal, ritual driven means of living where you are subjected to rigid rules that demand absolute obedience and servitude.
But that's actually something that humans have turned it into.
Whereas in reality, as far as I understand it, its just about having simple and pure faith, without being subject to crazy rules and ridiculous laws.
Just to fill your lives with hope.
Hoping the big guy up there will look out for you.
In the end, when your friends, your family and your shrink fail to understand you, I suppose the best way to deal with your problems is through hope and faith. In whatever form you see best.
In the end I guess its all about positive thinking, and ranting your problems to the divine therapist.


Images credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliannehide, http://www.flickr.com/photos/lexrex, http://www.flickr.com/photos/visionwithin, http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparky2000.

A Date With The Hermitage

Being an incorrigible geek and a History freak (say... that rhymed!!), nothing can please me more when the city I currently reside in also houses one of the largest museums in the world, namely the Hermitage. Founded in 1764, by Catherine the Great, it also encompasses the residence of the former Tsars of Russia called the 'Winter Palace'.
Today like any other day we had a boring(not to mention stinky) autopsy class, after which my friends suddenly decided to visit the Hermitage. Initially hesitant, I finally agreed. For what can I say? The weather was perfect, and its not like I was going to indulge myself in academic pursuits at home anyway. A sunny 16 degrees, and an almost cloudless sky beckoned us to tour the great halls of the famed museum.
All the photos have been clicked by yours truly with my W760i walkman man phone!

We breakfasted on some cheesecake in a local cafe and made our way to my favourite site of pilgrimage (have priorly visited the museum countless times).
The thing about the Hermitage is that its not your everyday kind of boring museum. Technically you do not need to be a geek to appreciate the splendid architecture both inside and outside. Not to mention the fabulous collections of works of art right from ancient Greece to medieval China. For me its akin to heaven since I have been wallowing in ancient history since I was a kid. To be actually be face to face with the Sarcophagus of Egyptian kings of old or the marble busts of Jupiter (the Roman King of the Gods), makes ancient History come back alive.
I know a great deal of people find history boring. And feel like there is nothing in common with the lives men lead then to the lives which we lead now.
But I disagree.
I doubt that there is an iota of change between the lives of people now and then.
What has changed?
Both ancient Rome and the current world had democracies. If the modern world had Hitler, the ancient world had its Nero. If the ancient world had a proud and dominating Rome which the other nations submitted meekly to, the current world has the United States.
Just like the modern world nations have scientists developing new and unheard of technology in the field of warfare, so did the ancient world have Archimedes who is known to have who set fire to an entire Roman fleet by focussing the sun's rays into a powerful heat ray, using giant parabolic mirrors.
Corrupt leaders like the Roman Emperor Caligula who built self glorified statues of themselves existed then, much akin to certain self glorified leaders who exist today in a certain south Asian country which we are all familiar with.
Nothing changes with time. Human nature can never be subject to change. What changes is the way of life, the technology, that's it.
The same avarice, the same greed, insecurity, corruption and the polarization between the rich and the poor, persist through centuries, irrespective of how "civilized" we claim ourselves to be. There is no such thing as civilization. There is only the perpetual want to constantly satisfy ones desires. And the perpetual want to survive at all costs.
The ancient races were no different from the current age of man we see today.
Hence I believe that history indeed repeats itself. In more ways than one.

The idea behind history, is to make sure one doesn't repeat the same mistakes over and over. But I suppose no one really paid attention during their history lessons. Including our so called leaders. Rather than moving forward, we seem to be stuck in an eternal circle doing the same things our ancestors did centuries ago over and over again.
Museums preserve not mere material relics, but also the souls of the Kings of old, who look down upon the visitors and try in vain to get them to avoid making the same mistake time and again.

A museum is the reflection of man's former self, through the deeds he left behind.
And though we might assume the reflection in the mirror to have changed over the years. It ironically remains the same.
Its up to humanity to break the perpetual circle through the lessons it has learned from the ages of old.
So that future generations can look up to us as those who didn't just mutely observe the proceedings around us, but actually sought to change the course history for good.

The After School Special

As a child, I never did like school. To me it always resembled some sort of juvenile prison, where we as unhappy inmates were hoarded around like cattle. We would be stuffed together in a classroom where a visibly bored "teacher", who was probably a dissatisfied house wife would ask us to recite the alphabet.
It does not take a person with a degree in psychology to tell that the so called teacher is bored out of her wits and visibly resents your very presence. Its something a small child can figure out all by itself. High school wasn't all that bad, I did meet some wonderfully genuine teachers who helped me develop my talents. But for the majority of the time it was the same convoy of disgruntled educators.
Education makes a big difference in ones life. The ability to grasp certain things in the key moments of your life make a huge difference in the sort of person you become tomorrow. Failing to do so causes numerous hurdles in the life ahead.
I do not believe in the fact that someone is just born stupid. Unless you have some sort of congenital problem like dyslexia or autism. Even then, dyslexic and autistic children aren't exactly stupid, given the opportunity, they can outshine even the well to do kids.
But that's how most children are labelled in some schools on account of under performance. Stupid, cannot learn, dull, etcetera.
Any person worth his salt ought to realise that the fault lies with the teacher and not the student. Its the teachers failure for being unable to get the student interested in the subject.
Then again teachers are not the only culprit. Parents aren't far behind as far as ruining the child's interest in education is concerned. Of late, they have begun to opt for the easiest option for correcting the child's bad performance in class. What's better than class? More class. Namely tuitions.
Of late, you have children studying in classes as low as the second grade, huffing and puffing carrying bulk loads of books on their bicycle going for remedial lessons after school. So much for the joy of childhood.
Its not a prejudiced or pessimistic outlook that I wish to portray, but on the contrary, something quite real and something experienced by a great deal of children.
Teaching and learning can be a wonderful experience if you ask me. There's nothing more wonderful in life than to learn and understand new concepts and material.

But the way they are introduced is of paramount importance.
For instance, in my own experience, we had this professor who taught us infectious diseases back in the fifth year. His method of teaching involved mutual interaction by treating us as equals. He gave us insightful details, and added relevant trivia to the subject in discussion so that we may never forget the topic. We liked studying for him, and even sought to impress him by trying to answer his questions. There was never any force, insults, boredom or aggression in his demeanour whatsoever. And as a consequence I loved the subject primarily on account of the professor.

On the other hand we have also encountered certain professors who can utterly ruin the subject, leaving you abhorring it for good.
Of course fortunately I am old enough to study on my own. So the after effects of being bombarded by mindless drivel are of little consequence.

But children on the other hand are not.
They have little choices to make when a particular teacher can make learning a literal hell for them. Besides they are too immature and scared to think otherwise. And as a consequence most of them end up suffering purely on account of the teacher's indifference and the parent's negligence.
What angers me more is when parents do not stand up to defend their children when they are subject to obvious harassment. My parents raked up all hell at a teacher back in junior school when they learned that she had been threatening us kids with chilly powder in the eyes as punishment for not doing the homework. The teacher was suspended and the principal offered a formal apology.
But not all kids end up that fortunate.
I was aghast when I read the news about a child in high school, who slipped into a coma after being hit on her head for not doing the homework. Obviously as gracious our judicial system is, all the teacher got was a suspension and nothing more.
In spite of all the "accidents" that have either maimed or severely affected children for the past many years, no one has taken the step to ban corporal punishment in Indian schools.
If this is the sort of trend that is going to continue, you might as well have your child home schooled rather than ruin his/her childhood by a sadistic teacher with the I.Q of a Neanderthal.
Even parents ought to realise and pay attention to their child when they begin to hate school. They ought to realise that obviously something somewhere is wrong. If one cannot stand up and defend one's child from the oddballs that hurt him/her, then one might as well not be a parent.
If parents cannot understand their children when they were young, they can forget about their children trying to understand them when they are old!
It really bothers me to see the sort of nonsense kids have to put up with in the name of education. Not all schools and teachers are bad. But there are certain institutions and teachers out there who can wreck the very basis of a decent education.
The purpose of education is to enlighten and empower a child.
Not to enslave and frighten it to submission under unnecessary parental and academic pressure.
For its the younger generation that will in later years shape the future.

The Flight of the Valkyrie

In ancient Scandinavian mythology, Valkyries were warrior maidens who would transport the souls of those who fell in battle to Valhalla (the hall of warriors in heaven).
Now as they swept across the night sky, one could see the trail of glowing light across the horizon. The phenomenon in scientific literature is called 'Aurora Borealis' or the northern lights.
Its one of the most amazing spectacles that one could see in the star lit northern hemisphere.
The thing that once made the spectacle more magical was the fact that people would watch in earnest hoping to catch a glimpse of the Valkyries as they swept across the skies.

But in due course of time, as a consequence of scientific awareness it was alleged that the northern lights are caused by the bombardment of electrons and protons on the earth's atmosphere which gives rise to the nightly glow. Rubbishing the fact that that on no account is there such a thing like heavenly maidens leaving behind a magical afterglow.

That's one way of taking away magic from our lives.
And from that moment on, the Valkyries were lost from human memory. Never to ride amongst our dreams and our thoughts.
While there is nothing wrong in knowing the truth behind phenomena in nature, it isn't a crime if one ascribes it a bit of a more magical background.

Humans for centuries have dwelt in the land of make believe. Right from carving out giant Sphinxes in Egypt to the Dragon adoring masses in China.
While at the same time, the scientific community has always thought such practices as childish and ridiculous.
But I know, for a fact that deep within almost every human is a yearning for being amongst something magical and something out of the ordinary.

The thing about fantasizing, is that it takes you away from the sort of mundane world you dwell in, into a land of unlimited possibilities, a land of hope and a land of dreams.
Life as a crude realist on the other hand demarcates everything in and around into facts and formulations, which have a very limited scope.
If one remembers old Hindi movies, a common scene would involve the hero beating up nearly a dozen thugs twice his size. The audience would cheer in all earnest for the hero without doubting for a moment whether such a thing in real life is possible.
Today on the other hand, if we were to see something similar in cinema, the first thing we would do is remark, "what rubbish, there's no way he can do that".
Frankly, down the line, we have of late grown less tolerant to things out of the ordinary and look forward more to things with realistic proportions.
The thing about being a realist is that you end up planning and creating firm borders so as to what you can and cannot do.
And when realism grows out of hand, it can end up curtailing your dreams as well.
You lose the will to think beyond boundaries and restrict yourself in a cell of limited possibilities.

Fantasies do not exist to make a human ignorant or create false allusions.
Fantasies and dreams exist to egg on the human race to look forward to better things in life.
They are not meant to dissuade you from your goals in life, but in turn exist to give you hope, that nothing out there is impossible. The idea is to stick to your real world while at the same time having a small corner of your mind dedicated to your fantasies and your dreams.
And frankly, "real" life is nothing short of a fantasy. You have paupers who turned into millionaires and the physically challenged who scaled great heights in spite of their shortcomings. Something a realist would have deemed impossible.

People were taught to behave well, because the big guy upstairs would reward them if they did so.
Soldiers were encouraged to fight hard so that their souls would find rest in the hall of warriors.
Its all about looking forward to incentives.
If one told a soldier that when he falls in battle, all he would do is rot in the ground for good (a realist's perspective), its easy to imagine the sort of morale he would have then.

If everyone had a realist's point of view, then there is precious little to look forward to. There's no heaven, no hell, no rewards for good conduct and no punishments for bad conduct either. Just a bleak realistic landscape, where you are nothing but an intelligent carbon copy who merely exists to survive and procreate till the end of your time.
And frankly I do not see the point of living that way.
I do not wish to abhor realism as a whole, for I know that we cannot spend all our lives amidst pixies and elves in the woods.
But at the same time I do not wish to sweep away the small iota of magic which exists in my life.
Just like the Valkyries of the northern sky.
For they exist somewhere in a remote corner of our minds.
Irrespective of what the realists say, there is no harm in looking forward to their flight in the northern sky.
Its all about the wee bit of magic in our lives.

The Yes Man

Sometimes in life, it gets quite difficult to draw the line between being selfish, and trying to look out for yourself. And sometimes for a great number of us, it gets really difficult to say no to some people. Its frankly something that irks me the most. I sometimes envy people who have a "don't care a damn" attitude in life. People who do not care two pence so as to what the person opposite him/her thinks of them.
In short I find them to be more mentally independent and in tune to their own needs.
I, on the other hand am the absolute contrary. It matters a great deal to me so as to what other people think of me. And in the process always end up saying yes to even the unnecessary people. There's something within me, that cannot stand the thought of someone being disappointed with me or someone hating me. I know that its not humanely possible to please everybody. But what can I say? The human mind is like a horse. It can run away with you if not tamed properly.

I find myself agreeing to almost every ridiculous proposition dealt out by all and sundry.
Of course over the years I have learnt (although the hard way) to say no.
I didn't find it easy, but realised soon after, that if do not do so, sooner or later I'll be run over by the very mob that sought my affirmation to all their requests.
I realised that there is just no humane way that one can please everybody and still retain his/her sanity and independence.
I guess try as you might, over the years, you will have people who despise you, irrespective of how saintly you have been with them.
Besides saying yes countless times can soon deplete you of your individuality, and soon enough you feel that instead of living your life, you seem to be living someone else's.
Nevertheless there are those to whom you are obligated and cannot help but to say yes, like your parents, your spouse, your children or your best friend. But I suppose that as long as things do not go out of hand there's no harm in doing so.
As much as I believe in admonishing saying yes to all and sundry, I believe that by saying yes to those you love, gives rise to a nice warm feeling from within, and in turn just makes you want to do more for them.

I doubt that I have ever hesitated in saying yes to those I hold dear to me. Because when you exist as a human being, one of the purposes of your existence is to help and support those who are near and dear to you. Otherwise you might as well be a vegetable.
I doubt that there is such a thing as absolute individuality. By the end of the day you always end up living a part of someone else's dream. Possibly your loved one's.
There is nothing wrong in individual thought or independent living. But one should know where to draw the line there too. In the process of living and thinking for yourself, you might end up distancing yourself from those close to you, through your ego or your arrogance. And as a consequence you might not have anyone around to celebrate your success or support you in the time of your failures.
Irrespective of how individualistic you may want to be, there will always be a part of you that belongs to someone else. Someone close to you perhaps.
There's no harm in saying yes to such people.
But at the same time, being aware of those who just want your 'yes' for their own greedy goals.
Life is all about compromise.
Its always about knowing to please the right people in life.
And not letting individuality to turn into arrogance.

Such is Life!