The Yes Man

Sometimes in life, it gets quite difficult to draw the line between being selfish, and trying to look out for yourself. And sometimes for a great number of us, it gets really difficult to say no to some people. Its frankly something that irks me the most. I sometimes envy people who have a "don't care a damn" attitude in life. People who do not care two pence so as to what the person opposite him/her thinks of them.
In short I find them to be more mentally independent and in tune to their own needs.
I, on the other hand am the absolute contrary. It matters a great deal to me so as to what other people think of me. And in the process always end up saying yes to even the unnecessary people. There's something within me, that cannot stand the thought of someone being disappointed with me or someone hating me. I know that its not humanely possible to please everybody. But what can I say? The human mind is like a horse. It can run away with you if not tamed properly.

I find myself agreeing to almost every ridiculous proposition dealt out by all and sundry.
Of course over the years I have learnt (although the hard way) to say no.
I didn't find it easy, but realised soon after, that if do not do so, sooner or later I'll be run over by the very mob that sought my affirmation to all their requests.
I realised that there is just no humane way that one can please everybody and still retain his/her sanity and independence.
I guess try as you might, over the years, you will have people who despise you, irrespective of how saintly you have been with them.
Besides saying yes countless times can soon deplete you of your individuality, and soon enough you feel that instead of living your life, you seem to be living someone else's.
Nevertheless there are those to whom you are obligated and cannot help but to say yes, like your parents, your spouse, your children or your best friend. But I suppose that as long as things do not go out of hand there's no harm in doing so.
As much as I believe in admonishing saying yes to all and sundry, I believe that by saying yes to those you love, gives rise to a nice warm feeling from within, and in turn just makes you want to do more for them.

I doubt that I have ever hesitated in saying yes to those I hold dear to me. Because when you exist as a human being, one of the purposes of your existence is to help and support those who are near and dear to you. Otherwise you might as well be a vegetable.
I doubt that there is such a thing as absolute individuality. By the end of the day you always end up living a part of someone else's dream. Possibly your loved one's.
There is nothing wrong in individual thought or independent living. But one should know where to draw the line there too. In the process of living and thinking for yourself, you might end up distancing yourself from those close to you, through your ego or your arrogance. And as a consequence you might not have anyone around to celebrate your success or support you in the time of your failures.
Irrespective of how individualistic you may want to be, there will always be a part of you that belongs to someone else. Someone close to you perhaps.
There's no harm in saying yes to such people.
But at the same time, being aware of those who just want your 'yes' for their own greedy goals.
Life is all about compromise.
Its always about knowing to please the right people in life.
And not letting individuality to turn into arrogance.

Such is Life!

Viva La Revolución

Throughout the course of history, the world of man has been familiar with rebels and revolutions. Revolutions are those events which change the course of history towards a new and a possibly better direction.
I have always been fascinated by the numerous people who have in past been responsible for reshaping world history.
A rebel does not necessarily mean a person with a political orientation. For true rebellion may occur in any field, be it mathematics, art, sport or the system of government.
Many men(and women) in the past have been credited with genius.
Like Einstein who took the world of physics by storm with the theory of relativity, Mozart with his musical masterpieces, Van Gough with his impressionist art and Alexander, a military genius who thought of uniting the world under one common banner.
Frankly, the key element in common with Einstein, Van Gough or Alexander was not necessarily genius.
But the key element and reason for their triumph, was that they were rebels.
Rebels with unique ideas, rebels with an unconventional outlook towards life, rebels who weren't afraid of experimentation and challenging age old beliefs and dictums.

Society is something that is always prone to remain stagnant. It will constantly dwell within mediocrity and make sure its inhabitants remain subdued and dormant.
Its not that difficult to imagine, how the world would have looked had not a single human being had a rebellious thought. We would then have been akin to beasts roaming in the jungles.
Have you ever noticed cattle? They move when they are told to move and they stay when commanded to stay. They neither question nor hesitate in doing so.
Ironically being large beasts of burden they can easily pummel the puny human who is bossing them around. But they shan't. They never will. Because none of them has the ability to think in a rebellious manner.
In the same manner, does an unjust and stagnant society brainwash humans into cattle.
Human cattle are everywhere. On the streets, in schools and in the workplace. Any question out of place is immediately snubbed, ridiculed or ignored. Thereby cutting away at the roots of rebellion.
There is a difference between education and brainwashing.
Brainwashing involves making a person to compulsorily submit to rigid rules and ideas without question.
Whereas education ideally, is when a student is introduced a subject , asked to understand it and be allowed to form his/her opinion regarding it.
Brainwashing leads to ignorance. And it is ignorance which currently plagues human society today.
Society has never been kind to rebels. For since ages it has ridiculed and branded them as outcasts.
The leaders of such societies are the most insecure of the lot. Insecure about bringing the slightest disharmony to their mundane and mediocre realm. And furthermore, they fear the question Why?
Why must we do this?
Why must we follow your rules?
Why must we believe in something that we don't want to?
They know, that the question 'Why' can disrupt the mundane atmosphere which has been established for so long.
Nevertheless if only such leaders had read their history books they would have realised that rebels have always triumphed more often than once.
Perhaps the only reason that rebels were never subdued is because, deep within, their conscience wouldn't allow them. Perhaps living amongst dull monotony suffocated them, and their spirit yearned to be free.
The spirit has always been born free. It is the world of man that shackles it, thereby enslaving it forever.
But in case of rebels, they struggled long and hard till their voice was heard loud enough by the masses and in consequence, they were given their due credit.
It is rather criminal to be turned into human cattle when one is endowed with enough abilities to live a free and independent existence.
Nothing forced upon someone can lead to a positive result.
Always question, when you invariably feel that something isn't right. And never believe someone when they say that you're no good. For you know yourself better than the others. Be well aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to recognise the rebel within you.
Thus in conclusion I would like to quote a line which I quite like by the famed author Khalil Gibran:
" Life without Rebellion is like seasons without Spring.
And Rebellion without Right is like Spring in an arid desert
Life, Rebellion and Right are three- in- one who cannot be changed or separated."

Foreign Influence

Six years is a significantly long period for someone to be away from ones home. And as more time passes, the more distant you seem to grow. You seldom are the same person who left a good deal of time ago. And by the time you return those near and dear around you certainly can feel the difference.
I left India as a naive 18 year old, who frankly had little or no comprehension of what he was going to see and experience in a distant foreign land.
I'm 23 now, and after six years in St.Petersburg, the experience has been more than rewarding.
I came here to study medicine, but in turn learned a lot more. Theoretical education is something that one can gain frankly anywhere, but the key lessons in life arise out of personal experience, especially in a solitary atmosphere.
I have a lot of gratitude towards Russia. Through more ways than one it has brought out the very best within me. It has taught me to be independent, strong, and frankly taught me to think for myself.
The thing is, if you constantly live under the shadow of your parents or guardians, irrespective of the fact that they mean well, you will seldom ever be able to harvest your own personal thought.
And hence the very ability to think for yourself, thus disappears.
Its almost time for me to return to India bidding this country farewell for good.
But the mood within me is neither ecstatic nor even the least bit joyous.
My country unfortunately does not exactly paint a pretty picture.
Yes we are on top of the world, we have a booming economy and have a hyperactive middle class. But as a people, I believe we are far from perfect.

When I arrived in St.Petersburg six years ago, we were ragged mercilessly by my fellow Indian "brethren".
There were no hellos or helping us around in a foreign country. For them, the main priority was to rag us to shreds in the first few days we came here.
People talk of being racially abused by foreigners when you are in their country, but what would you say if you were abused by you own countrymen in a foreign country?
On the contrary, since I live in a foreigners hostel most of my closest friends have been either Sri Lankans, Mauritians and Africans. They have been quite helpful to me. And contrary to the stuck up communist picture the Americans have painted about the Russians, they are actually quite a warm, friendly people, who are ever curious about our so called Indian "culture".

I read this news article where a boy in a medical collage was killed in a ragging incident in India. I frankly have since been thanking my stars that I did not get admission in an Indian medical collage.
There are Arabs, Chinese, Africans, Sri Lankans and Russians living in my hostel, and not one of them has ever ragged their fellow country men when they first came here.

On another note, the Russian medical graduates in India are considered incompetent and unfit to practice medicine.
The general feeling is, that a medical graduate from an unheard of hamlet in India can be a splendid doctor, while someone who studied at one of the best schools of medicine in Russia is nothing short of a quack.
Why is Russia bad? Because any university that accepts students irrespective of their caste and doesn't demands hideous sums of money in the name of "donations" is bound to be bad.
When back in India I told a doctor that I am studying medicine in Russia, he made a face as though I just barfed in front of him.
Such is the grand welcome I am going to receive when I return.

Indians must be the only race which can make their own countrymen feel bad.
Besides, their total lack of self respect can be seen in the world of cinema itself.
Only an Indian will act in a film which showcases Indians as a barbaric monkey brain eating race (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom), and frankly Slumdog didn't exactly improve our reputation as a civilized race either. Agreed we have problems(which country doesn't?), but that doesn't give the right to an outsider (read Danny Boyle) to showcase it to the world. Who cares if the world now thinks that India is an exotic land of snake charming, minority persecuting natives who are poor to boot? At least we won two Oscars.
Suppose Danny Boyle went to China to make a film about the oppression of the Tibetans by the Chinese government, you can very well assume the sort of welcome he would get.


With the way things are going, I can guarantee India is going to lose a bulk of its educated youth to foreign countries just on account of the fact that it does precious little to make them feel welcome at home.
Its ironic that we spend crores on the Incredible India campaigns to woo foreigners, but do nothing of the sort to keep the educated strata of society from leaving the country in search for greener pastures.
If this goes on what will remain behind will be the uneducated remainder of the populace basking under the glory of a corrupt government.
Its no small wonder that most NRIs seldom return home.
I for one certainly have begun having second thoughts about returning home. But then again, as ironic as life can be, I choose to return. Mainly for my family, which is ever anxious to see me back. Not for any patriotic reasons.

The only good thing right now is that the majority of the youth are beginning to realise the problems faced within the moral strata of our country and are willing to come forward and speak out against oppression(read Pink Chaddi campaign).
And hopefully as the awareness grows, the better it is for the country to awaken to a brighter future.

Vis Comica

When I was a child, one of the things that captivated me the most were comic books. And frankly I would be lying if I said that I don't read them any more because I still haven't gotten over them. It has been one of the most gratifying relationships, the one between a child and a comic.
Frankly I wasn't the kind of kid who hung around his buddies playing hide and seek very much. My world instead revolved around the latest exploits of Asterix the Gaul and the adventures of the boy reporter Tintin.
My dad says that's how I got my glasses in the first place. But I don't mind, its been worth it.
Vis Comica in Latin, literally translates into the power of comedy or rather the sense of humour.
As a kid I had one of the largest comic collections ranging from Archies, Tintin, Calvin and Hobbes, Asterix, you name it. And I would spend many a rainy evening feverishly following their exploits and exploding in peals of laughter.
The association with comic books has precious little to do with age or for that matter maturity. Just because you are older doesn't mean that you are not entitled to some mirth time and again. Besides the creators of some of the worlds most famous comic books are adults, some like Hergé continued creating Tintin scripts well into his seventies.
Sometimes, people of late are so concerned with their outward appearances that they eschew the very humour from within their lives.
Frankly I do not give a damn. What is the point of giving up one of the things that bring a smile to your face now and then? Life can be at times far to dreary sometimes, and there is nothing like your favourite character to brighten your day.
And truth be told I learnt more from comic books than I did from school.
Many a narrow minded individual consider comics to be a collection of mindless comedy suited for the likes of six year olds. But in reality if you wish to probe within they are actually quite witty (for those who understand the concept of wit).
As far as knowledge is concerned, take Tintin for instance, in the comic "Explorers of the Moon", Hergé had scripted an idea for a moon rocket a decade before the America launched the Apollo mission. The blue print had striking similarities to the design of the Apollo 11 rocket and even explained the principle of nuclear fission.
While on the other hand, reading Asterix I got curious about Julius Caesar, Cleopatra and the Gaulish race that once occupied what is now know modern France.
Oh and moreover the comics used some of the most eloquent words from the English vocabulary. Ask your snooty relative who says comics are for kids what the words anacoluthon, corsair and harlequin mean (courtesy of Captain Haddock and his colourful vocabulary).
So basically I learnt science, history and reinforced my knowledge of English as a child, which is something those god awful teachers back at school could never do.
Its always easy to dismiss something as ridiculous and immature without having to actually go through its contents. Nevertheless mark my words, they are way better than the stuff they show on television of late.
I have a great deal of gratitude to comic books. There cannot be a better way to enforce knowledge and humour within a child (or an adult for that matter).
Even as a medical student I have not given up on them and frankly neither will I do so when I reach seventy. Like I said, age has precious little to do with it.
And to those who still follow the exploits of your favourite comic characters I urge you on to continue to do so. Never mind the snooty glances from your friends and your colleagues.
May the sense of comedy prevail.

A Night at the Theatre

Its rather seldom that I focus a blog on the happenings on my day to day life, figuring there's nothing really intriguing about the ongoings of a medical student. But nevertheless, I thought that I would dedicate this post, along with the pictures I took at recent visit by me and my friends to St.Petersburg's Mikhailovsky theatre, to watch the famed Swan Lake Ballet.
One of the things that one must do when in Russia, is to watch the Swan Lake Ballet, either in St.Petersburg (Russia's cultural capital), or Moscow.
Now there are only a select few theatres in the two cities that house the famed troupe which perform across Europe. And frankly, if you have had a chance to visit St.Petersburg, it would be just awful if you didn't see the ballet, for which it is so renowned for.
Frankly, its up to you so as to what part of Russian culture you would like to absorb. Being a bit of a geek myself, I usually prefer to haunt theatres and the famed Hermitage Museum.

Truth be told, I have never attended a ballet before, and its something that someone oughtn't watch on television, because the first thing one would do (including myself), would be to change the channel.
There is a certain magic to being present in person in the theatre, in the presence of a live orchestra, people around you dressed in their very best, and the atmosphere charged with anticipation.
My friend suggested I need to get something formal to wear since we would be sitting in the front row. And since the one thing I despise the most is shopping for clothes, I grudgingly mowed my way to the mall.
It seems I needed a suite, and frankly my knowledge in formal attire being abysmal, I was totally perplexed. Fortunately I swamped the responsibility of finding the right suite, to a salesgirl at the mall. (Its a good thing that women have such good taste).

We reached the theatre at 7.00pm and noticed that the place was getting jam packed with an assortment of Americans, British and Russians.
We managed to find our seats just in the nick of time though.
The Ballet was composed of three acts and four scenes,basically revolving around the story of how a Prince Siegfried, falls in love with a maiden who for the remainder of the day is transformed into a swan by an evil sorcerer. The sorcerer has thus turned numerous girls into swans. Only true love and fidelity can break the spell and free the swan princess and her companions.
However the prince is deceived into loving a maiden who resembles the swan princess, and unto whom vows eternal love and fidelity.
As a consequence the prince is full of remorse since he could not save the swan princess. Only by sacrificing his life, can he prove his love to the swan princess and break the evil spell.
In the end both the prince and the swan princess give up their lives in the 'Swan Lake', and thus their love overcomes death itself.
Disney once made an animation called the Swan Princess based on the ballet.
Either ways it was a wonderful experience. The fluidity and the agility of the dancers was amazing. And I had no idea where the three hours went.
I would be booking tickets to see the ballet yet again next month as well as a visit to an Italian Opera.

If ever you have an opportunity to visit Petersburg or Moscow, make it a point to visit the Ballet. It will certainly be worth your while.
PS: Do carry some food of your own, because the prices at the "snack counter" are atrocious.

Winter's Last Battle

One of the most peculiar things about living in Saint Petersburg is the dramatic seasonal variation. As April approaches, the evenings get longer and longer, finally culminating into the phenomenon called "white nights". Where the sun doesn't set all day or rather all night, and the city is lit up throughout the summer.
As Spring approaches, I saw something quite unique on my way to class today. Normally being quite oblivious to all the things in and about me, I wouldn't have considered it, but of late since melancholy has got a grip on me, I saw and felt the last battle of winter.
It was snowing profusely this morning, but at the same time, the temperature wasn't really ideal for snowfall, being above zero.
As the snow fell, it immediately melted causing a really annoying slushy environment.
But nevertheless as I waded through the icy muddy ground, I realised something. Spring is around the corner. And yet, winter seems to be unrelenting in its departure. Almost as if it is deliberately holding off the final moments before it must go away forever. It didn't seem to let go the branches of the tall trees or the paths on which it lay for so long.
It just kept snowing and snowing, knowing well that its futile to resist the coming of the next season. It just didn't seem to give up.
But we all know, as cruel time can be, winter must bid adieu one final day.

I somehow felt the same pang of dismay when I looked upon the fading season. Like the current season, for me and most of my friends, our academic lives are about to culminate in graduation soon.
While it is a joyous occasion, one cannot simply let go six years of our lives we spent together in Petersburg. For me, it is the last winter in Petersburg. For I know well, that I shan't ever see it again. For a new season begins in my life as well. Somehow, as the months fade away, like the winter, I seem to be holding on in futility, the thoughts and emotions that have so linked me to this city for the past six years.

Time is a rather cruel entity. It indeed waits for no one. Yet most of us, knowing this all to well, seem to be holding out in vain, hoping against hope that time will stay still, and everything around us will remain the same always.
And in doing so, we are constantly in battle with time, knowing all too well that we are not going to be the victors.
Like the fading winter, I too seem unwilling to accept the change that is going to come about me.
And like the fading winter, I too am clinging on in vain, hoping that time shall stay still, and we shall remain young and carefree forever.
Its not the future responsibility that bothers me.
What bothers me is the severance of the numerous bonds that I have painstakingly made over the past six years.
An era is almost over, and I don't even have a clue so as to where the years went.
I never realised that the day would actually come, where I have to bid goodbye to this fair city, and the people with whom I have lived with for so long. None of us can stall the inevitable, but I suppose that doesn't make us stop trying.
Such is fate.
Dasvidanya my dear comrade, General Winter.
Maybe by some quirk of fate our paths shall cross again, but until then, I bid you farewell.

Faith versus Fact

In my previous post I had basically stated how man's misinterpretations of faith have lead to some of the worst crimes humanity has ever seen. And as a consequence faith is therefore seen as a vestigial entity that has no place in today's modern society.
Faith is seen as many as a product of human insecurity and fear. Fear of the big guy upstairs who will unleash his wrath upon those who disobey him.
Anthropologically speaking, not many have been able to point out so as to how the evolution of faith occurred in the first place.
Did the developing cortex stimulate the sudden surge of abstract thinking? Did the hyperactive neurotransmitters begin to stimulate a new process of imaginative beliefs?
But if it was mere imagination, then why would one fall prey to ones own world of make believe in the first place?
The key to our origin continues to remain shrouded in myths, hypotheses and theories.
Without absolute concrete evidence.
I have never been a fan of the theory of spontaneous creation. It seems like "presto" instant humans.
Though Darwin's theory of evolution seems as a plausible explanation to the origin of man, it remains a theory. Not fact.
Evolution isn't something that we see occurring before our very eyes.
The humans who have co existed with other species have not mentioned even a trace of evolutionary activity over the span of thousands of years.
Scientists tried to recreate the conditions of the primordial earth in the laboratories to create life from scratch. But all they could manage to come up with were a soup of amino acids (building blocks of DNA), but not life.
So what creates life? The life that we all see in and around us. Its everywhere. From the insignificant microbes and the sentient trees to the elephants and whales. I suppose that's something we have yet to figure out.

So that makes me wonder. Is having faith in a higher wiser entity really so bad?
I suppose it all finally boils down to the fact that seeing is believing.
Its always easy to disregard and discredit something that cannot be proven or for that matter seen.

When Marco Polo returned to Italy after his adventures in the east, people regarded him as a liar because of the "tall tales" he spoke of the eastern civilizations. But ironically they were true.
So there goes the dictum of what you cannot see cannot exist.

The thing about God or for that matter any spiritual experience for that matter, is that the so called experience remains legitimate only for a select few.
Now science can deem it as some sort of a delusion, hallucination or mass hypnosis, or their favourite word...coincidence, thus its almost impossible to convince a non believer.
I suppose in that case the best option would be to live and let live. Respect others for their beliefs or disbeliefs.
You cannot knock belief and acceptance onto another human if he is unwilling. Reason is something that dawns upon someone slowly and steadily. You cannot enforce it.

Its only in the past 2000 years or so that science and faith have formed an eternal rift. While science accuses faith of luring man into false beliefs, faith accuses science of degrading the morale value within society.
If one looks back in time, you had Hellenistic Greece making advances in philosophy, mathematics and physics. Mayan South America making advances in astronomy(their Mayan calender remains up to date with the current eclipses and transits), ancient Egypt and their advances in medicine and Vedic India and their advances in surgery, theology, metaphysics and Ayurveda.
Faith never stood in the way of scientific progress then and neither did the ancient scientists criticize the worship of Zeus, Isis or Shiva.
It went hand in hand.

Science cannot be deemed unnecessary since it forms the core of our everyday lives.
Faith cannot be deemed redundant since it is faith people turn to seek solace when times are rough, and when you need a spiritual shoulder to lean on. Of course its a pity some corrupt men have used faith to terrorize the masses.
But in conclusion, those who choose to believe and those who choose to disbelieve are free to do so on their own accord.
But one things for sure, the least we can do is be human and learn to respect each other for whatever they believe in.
I dont know whether that will get you a first class ticket to heaven. But at least you will have the reputation of being a first rate human on earth.