Thursday, April 8, 2010

Home Is Where The Heart Is

They say time flies by when you're having fun. Well, if that is to be believed, then I guess I'm having a blast!
Its been seven months since I returned back home. And frankly it only seems like yesterday, when I arrived home from the airport, all puffy eyed, from the overwhelming emotion of parting with my closest friends, and not to mention the utter exhaustion I suffered on account of over 10 hours of air travel.
My parents were overjoyed nevertheless, reuniting with me after a spell of six long years. But throughout the course of my first day of returning back home, I could never partake in their joy, as I wondered desolately so as to how will I suddenly fit in, in the new world suddenly thrust upon me. Its strange actually, when after a long period of time, even familiar faces seem unfamiliar. And your own home seems like foreign ground, where you are unsure, whether or not you belong here.
Thus, through these tempest of emotions, I wondered in apprehension, so as to what course my life shall take.
But if I had only known then, so as to how things will turn up, I doubt I would have fretted so unnecessarily.
As things turned out, I found myself getting used to my home and surroundings much faster than I imagined. And to my utter relief, I actually felt a good sense of belonging.
Gone were my apprehensions and fears, and I felt really good being taken care of by my loving family, finally being able to partake in their joy of my return.
In life, there are many bitter sacrifices to be made, and in the course of things, time really forces you to reconsider, so as to whether the sacrifices you made were indeed worth it.
In the pursuit of my education abroad, I missed my home my family, and my people. Its one thing to say that you have left your family and home to pursue or goals and dreams, and its another thing to live it.
A lot of things in life are easier said than done. And this is one of them.
Dont get me wrong, the six years I spent abroad were the best years of my life. I attribute it to the fact that you develop as a person only when your by your self. But I guess, after accomplishing what you sought to do, its always nice to return home.
In my earlier posts I have ranted about my country, the narrow mindedness of my people, and the dearth of even the most basic human attributes that plague my land. And at the same time, I have heaped praises on St.Petersburg, the surrogate city that took care of me for the amount of time I spent there.
But lets face it, its not home.
You home is the place you live in, amidst all the faults and the issues. But that's what makes it home.
Its like say back home, the wallpapers peeling, the plumbings faulty, and the roof leaks every time it rains. Then on the other hand, you have, say the Ritz hotel. Its a wonderful place to be, with great people, fine food, and a spectacular room.
But irrespective of however long you stay at the Ritz, its not home. You'll always be a guest at the Ritz, and in the due course of time you might even begin to miss the familiar aroma the emanated from the kitchen, or the creaks in the flooring in your hallway.
The same goes for all those who venture abroad. You'll always be a guest. A guest that people may love. But a guest nonetheless.
One needs a home to belong.
As much as I enjoyed every single instance of my stay abroad, I can never really say I belonged there. They were not my people.
Besides, irrespective of how much I tend to criticize my country, I cannot dream of leaving it ever again. The emotional upheaval is far too profound to bear. To constantly uproot yourself from one place to another.
Back in India, after I cleared my rather gruelling exam, I realised that I wouldn't have made it without the support of my family. People who made things so much easier for me to bear.
When you're by your self , there is no support system to aid you in your time of need.
Back home there is.
People may brag about how their homes an awful place to be, or how they feel suffocated amidst their family. If that is indeed so, then its a pity.
Its easy to escape your people saying they're difficult, or impossible to live with. But if that's how you feel about relationships, you might one day pretty much end up alone.
Every relationship is tough. But that's where you need to work on them and make it successful.
My parents might not agree with everything I say or do, but that doesn't stop me from reinforcing my point of view. We have maddening arguments, and terrific fights. But by the end of the day we're family, and alls well again. Not once have I thought that, "God these people are crazy, I can't live here any more."
Its letting go of small squabbles and being able to live with one another in a home as a family defines you as being human.
It wont take even a moment hesitation to pack my bags, leave home, live abroad and settle in a comfortable clean country.
But I'm done being a guest.
And irrespective of the shortcomings in my country, its home. For the better or for the worse.
As Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz, "there's no place like home"!PS: The photos you see above, are some random shots of my home. A personal touch kind of thing!!


rads said...

Welcome back..i guess ur posting after a long time...a very senti post understand u've missed ur family a lot but then who doesn't after staying abroad so long...nice pics...u shud click more often...

Choco said...

I had come in thinking I would just read and not comment..But I could not resist.

I agree with you. As always. It is less stressful to be amongst one's own people and loved ones.
PS: Lovely pics. You have a beautiful home. :)

Viyoma R said...

Felt so good reading this post!! Glad to know u are back home with parents.

I simply loved those lines..even familiar faces seem unfamiliar!!

Chandrika Shubham said...

All pics are beautiful. :) I liked the second and the last one the most. :)
It is nice to hear that u are back home. :)

Shadowthorne @ Ramzu Zahini said...

Dammit! You have a beautiful home! My mom would be absolutely gaga over the garden planting scheme in these photos.

Yes, home is where your heart is :)

But where's the money shot??? We wanna see your bedroom!!!!

brocasarea said...

i really cant make out how ur going to adopt must be so diffn a diffn world!!..

good luck!!:)

Half Indian said...

Home is sweet home, home is always home, wherever you are....

Thousif Raza said...

first of all awesome pics... great writing as always... and is that a good luck bird in one of the photos????? :).... i understand man... there is no place like home... you get all the love and all the care you need... and which you desire.....glad you are happy... you deserve it :).... and beautiful house by the way.... :)

take care and keep writing.........

et said...

The last pic reminds me of that tree which was my childhood friend - its no more in my houseyard.

Speaking of home, yeah its where we can just forget about our surroundings. As for me, I've been staying home as a day scholar all these years. Sometimes its that security which often stops us from taking new ventures. We hesitate to take risks, and life becomes hardly adventurous.

Gayathri said...

Beautiful post..Howsoever we crib about generation gap and the shackles at home,at some point in time we realize that those shackles had that sweetness which the freedom outside couldn provide..
Im undergoing this kind of a stage now,though not abroad..The way my dad treats me,as a kid,enquiring about everything that happened thru'out the day and giving suggestions about how to or how not to act,does annoy me at times..but ultimately,they say for our well being..accepting it or not is upto us,but hurting and offending them shouldnt be the way..

Vyazz said...

@Rads: Hey.....welcome back to my blog!!...Missed ur comments!! does feel great to be back home!!

Vyazz said...

@Choco: Thnx.Its nice that u did comment. Always look forward to your opinions. A writer always has a fondness for the readers opinions. Always welcome!!!

Vyazz said...

@Vioma: Hey...nice to hear from you!! Thnx.....much obliged!!

Vyazz said...

@Chandrika: Thanks.....welcome to my blog!!...Appreciate it!! :)

Vyazz said...

@Shadowthrone: Glad you liked the garden. The true credit goes to my mom....who also used to be an interior designer.
And as for my bedroom shot.....why spoil the pretty post with awful pics of a really messy room!! ;)
Not exactly the neatest person here!! :)

Vyazz said...

@Brocasarea: Turns out....I'm adopting myself real fine. Only the weather is horrid!!! :)

Vyazz said...

@Half Indian: Hey....welcome to my blog!!! Yup...home is always home....wherever you are!!!

Vyazz said...

@Thousif:Thnx man!! The bird in the pic is called a Coucal.....dunno the other names. Took a pic, coz it rarely comes down!!!

Vyazz said...

@Et: The last tree was a Gulmahor....yeah you do need to go out once in a while to spread ur wings.....but its always nice to return home!!!

Vyazz said...

@Gayathri: Very true......people seldom get to understand the benefits of being close to the ones you love. Its all about being a family, irrespective of the differences.
People only realise what they have lost when things go out of their hand.
Certain things are the sort that one cannot take for granted.