Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Yes Man
Sometimes in life, it gets quite difficult to draw the line between being selfish, and trying to look out for yourself. And sometimes for a great number of us, it gets really difficult to say no to some people. Its frankly something that irks me the most. I sometimes envy people who have a "don't care a damn" attitude in life. People who do not care two pence so as to what the person opposite him/her thinks of them.
In short I find them to be more mentally independent and in tune to their own needs.
I, on the other hand am the absolute contrary. It matters a great deal to me so as to what other people think of me. And in the process always end up saying yes to even the unnecessary people. There's something within me, that cannot stand the thought of someone being disappointed with me or someone hating me. I know that its not humanely possible to please everybody. But what can I say? The human mind is like a horse. It can run away with you if not tamed properly.
I find myself agreeing to almost every ridiculous proposition dealt out by all and sundry.
Of course over the years I have learnt (although the hard way) to say no.
I didn't find it easy, but realised soon after, that if do not do so, sooner or later I'll be run over by the very mob that sought my affirmation to all their requests.
I realised that there is just no humane way that one can please everybody and still retain his/her sanity and independence.
I guess try as you might, over the years, you will have people who despise you, irrespective of how saintly you have been with them.
Besides saying yes countless times can soon deplete you of your individuality, and soon enough you feel that instead of living your life, you seem to be living someone else's.
Nevertheless there are those to whom you are obligated and cannot help but to say yes, like your parents, your spouse, your children or your best friend. But I suppose that as long as things do not go out of hand there's no harm in doing so.
As much as I believe in admonishing saying yes to all and sundry, I believe that by saying yes to those you love, gives rise to a nice warm feeling from within, and in turn just makes you want to do more for them.
I doubt that I have ever hesitated in saying yes to those I hold dear to me. Because when you exist as a human being, one of the purposes of your existence is to help and support those who are near and dear to you. Otherwise you might as well be a vegetable.
I doubt that there is such a thing as absolute individuality. By the end of the day you always end up living a part of someone else's dream. Possibly your loved one's.
There is nothing wrong in individual thought or independent living. But one should know where to draw the line there too. In the process of living and thinking for yourself, you might end up distancing yourself from those close to you, through your ego or your arrogance. And as a consequence you might not have anyone around to celebrate your success or support you in the time of your failures.
Irrespective of how individualistic you may want to be, there will always be a part of you that belongs to someone else. Someone close to you perhaps.
There's no harm in saying yes to such people.
But at the same time, being aware of those who just want your 'yes' for their own greedy goals.
Life is all about compromise.
Its always about knowing to please the right people in life.
And not letting individuality to turn into arrogance.
Such is Life!