As a child, the world of the adults always fascinated me. The fact that they never had to do any homework, or the fact that they could watch television whenever they want.
They seemed a fascinating sort of people. Those who didn't have to answer to anyone. No one could boss over them, or reprimand them for trivial reasons. They didn't have to get up each morning to attend a god awful institution called school where one would be tortured by the continuous convoy of "teachers" who were nothing much but bored disgruntled house wives who wanted to spew out their venom on us poor lads .
And so I thought, "ahh....if only I were a grown up. I could make my own rules, yell at whomever I want, and watch television all day".
But growing up turned into quite a different experience, and a multitude of things took me by surprise.
But nevertheless, somehow, I didn't let the process of physical growth affect me to much of a degree. For I had a refuge. A friend with whom I could constantly play with. The child within me.
When I was almost 13, I would wander our football field immersed within a land of fantasy, where the football field was actually my kingdom, and I, its proud ruler who was renowned across the land, for his just reign. I spent the day muttering dialogues to myself portraying every character in my make believe kingdom.
Of course to the remainder of my friends who just took a break during half time, all they could see was a babbling lunatic all by himself across the field, acting the goat.
But their opinion then never bothered me.
I was far too busy within my kingdom, fending off the tyrants who wanted to usurp my throne.
The classroom was no different from the football field. While our teacher was explaining to a bunch of 12 year olds, the economic importance of the wool gathered from the merino sheep in Australia, I was busy sketching away in my notebook the map of my island kingdom.
Strangely the above practice in particular has still continued through the boring lectures at medical school.
The only difference being, that instead of maps I sketch...ahem...other noteworthy works of art.
The one good gift that God has given a child, would be the gift of imagination. The ability to remove yourself away from the world, when things do not seem so right. The ability to withdraw within your world of toy soldiers who battle evil men, when in reality downstairs, the grown ups are having one of their "arguments".
It is in the world of make believe that children seek refuge. But as one grows, the childish pastimes are rendered meaningless and one is subjected to the numerous aspects of reality.
But in my case, I never let the child within me go away.
I have kept him alive till today.
I still regale him with comic books and cartoons from time to time, least he gets bored of my grown up life and decides to move away.
I have kept him alive at all costs. I care precious little for public ridicule.
I suppose that is the reason why I never personally cared for the sort of situations that "grown ups" find themselves into.
The child within me matters.
In life theres no point in letting go of the few things that grant you refuge when the going gets tough.
Different people have different ways to escape momentarily from the world they live in.
Some watch movies, some go for a walk, while some get drunk and put a hole in the wall.
In my case, at times I go back to the child within me. Though I take care I do not look like an imbecile in the process.
To each of his own I suppose.
I owe a lot to the child within. For there are a lot of things that he has missed out on while growing up.
In time all shall be well.
And together we shall live happily ever after.