Sunday, November 9, 2008

Elusive Hope......

There are times in life when you feel totally incapacitated. There are times where you feel worthless, and have no idea about what you are doing or where you need to go.
You feel life fleeting across you, and you feel powerless to stop it go by.
You merely stand as a mute spectator, unable to act, unable to think, unable to perform.
Things change so fast, you yourself have no idea so as to when did it all begin. The worst part is that you yourself change, whether you like it or not. One day you wake up and realise that you just happen to be an all different person. Someone who doesn't like the same things anymore.
Youv'e changed, but you dont realise when.
In most of the cases your life changes course whether you like it or not. I feel it so often, that I'm standing watchful of all that transpires around me, and yet I am not a part of it.
There are times where you cannot help doing the things you do. You cant help ignoring your education, you cant help ignoring your faith, you cant help ignoring your loved ones.
Its pure helplessness.
And the worst part is, by the end of the day you feel frustrated and guilt ridden, for all the things you failed to accomplish, and for all the people you might be letting down.
These days there are plenty of self help books.
Books that motivate you, encourage you, etc.
But there are things books cannot teach. And there are things that books cannot solve.
Certain things are easier said than done.
They can merely offer a prespective.
I have read my fairshare of chicken soup for the soul, and effective habits for effective people(or something like that).
And all I ever did while reading the stories was to give a nod of acknowledgement. Thats it.
I wasn't a better person the next day, nor did I change myself.
Like I said all books can do is offer some prespective.
I suppose a lot of people read self help books in order to make their lives better. But I guess for some you don't have any other option but to get back to their dreary existance.
Certain things in life never seem to change.
And the worst part is, there are times when you cannot divulge your feelings onto anyone. Neither your friends nor your family.
Certain burdens I guess one carries upon oneself.
You might end up wallowing in self pity, and the one thing that can make things a little better, that is hope, remains elusive.
Hope is the only refuge for the millions out there.
I guess after you lose everything near and dear to you the one thing that you can salvage is hope.
I suppose those who lose hope, lose everything.
And to many yearning for it, it remains elusive.
Hope is something one often places upon Divinity.
One always hopes for divine intervention, to deliver them out of their misery. To give them back all they have lost.
I wonder whom do aetheists turn towards, when their friends, family and others let them down?
I shudder to think of their predicament.
Not everyone is alloted divine intervention, but atleast it gives them some solace to hope for one.
Faith is a refuge for those who are lost in life's never ending charade.
Its just too bad, that certain things that can offer us solace elude us so.
I suppose thats what life is all about!